Indulgence & Its Discontents

(A Hyperbolic Note-to-Self)

I am dissatisfied, disappointed, and disenchanted.

Everything, everywhere, falls short of my personal ideals.

Even the precious influences that, together, have formed my standards of perfection, are ultimately insufficient.

Some environments, experiences, and objects seem promising, but these all inevitably suffer from some deficiency, either blatant or subtle, that renders the desired resonance incomplete.

This inextricable discontentment is my greatest inspiration.

When I am inspired, whether by the presence, the absence, or the negation of delight, my discontentment is all the more profound; it is then that I must subjugate all within my power to the law of my will.

Every source of dissatisfaction, disappointment, or disenchantment is another challenge to my imagination, another demand from the depths of my ego that I create the joy that I seek.

My creations will eventually disappoint me as well, prompting new visions to suit the volatile cravings that herald my evolution.

The Infinite Possibilities & Their Limits

It is sometimes stated that “anything is possible.” That very theory is but a possibility. It makes more sense to say that “there are infinite possibilities.” A model of this concept would be a spherical die representative of all the possibilities in our universe. Each side of the die represents a state of macrocosmic existence. Note that even the slightest change anywhere in the universe has changed the entire definition of reality. Excessive as this may seem, we can only define reality according to our current perception of it. What we perceive is not necessarily what is real. Again, this should not be a primary focus, as it is not important. What we perceive is what we have to work with; therefore, it should be what we consider real and reliable. Anything else is speculation, mentioned here only to illustrate the immensity of this metaphorical Darkness.

Dice are normally six-sided, and thus provide only six possibilities each. As a metaphor, such a die would represent a strict set of potential circumstances. A die that can represent all the possible states of our universe would have to illustrate the statement: “There are infinite possibilities.” It would also show how this could be true without absolutely anything being possible.

This die is spherical; the sphere has infinite sides. Each side represents a possibility, so there are infinite possibilities shown in this model. At the same time, the sphere is a finite object - it has limits. It doesn’t need to be infinitely large in order to have infinite sides. Just as a sphere has countless sides, yet is a finite thing, there can be a limit to what can occur in our universe as well as an infinite number of possible occurrences.

To illustrate the infinite possibilities that actually do manifest, one need look no further than the movement of everyday objects. The movement of a finger as it types, as well as the keys as they are pressed down and released, involves infinite perceptible realities. As soon as the finger is moved at all to touch the key, it has been in an infinite number of positions relative to everything else in the universe. At the same time, everything but the finger is in a different position relative to the finger as it moves. There are also plenty of things moving besides the aforementioned. People and dogs are walking, snow is falling on mountain peaks, stars are exploding, and so on. Every little movement involves countless positions, most of them indistinguishable from one another. There is no exact point in this universe that can be located or defined, as it is infinitely small and would not exist without the presence of an infinitude of other exact points in the universe.